The Nurfington Predicament
by Steampunk Wilson
Summary: After the events of the clone fight, Nurf retreats to his tent with the remaining half of his remaining clone. Neither of them really know where to head next, but they might be able to help each other along the way.


**I really liked the recent season 4 episode, so I thought I'd write a oneshot on it! I know Nurf 2 probably won't make another appearance, but someone's gotta acknowledge his existence, right? So, yeah, enjoy the story :)**

As the sun set over the dingy little set up that was Camp Campbell, the campers retreated to their tents and Nurf carried the remaining half of his clone towards his tent with a weary sigh.

"Ouch, careful!" Nurf 2 snapped as Nurf set him (not very gently) down on the tent floor and went to sit on his cot. Compared to the usual shenanigans of his fellow campers and himself, today's events really weren't all that special, definitely not special for a long sigh and contemplation, but still, a black hole and a clone fight did deserve a 'what a day' at least.

"Hey, I said be careful!" Nurf 2 called from his spot on the floor. "Would you mind watching my decapitated wounds? I just had my legs removed today."

"Can you even feel pain?" Nurf asked with a sarcastic raised eyebrow.

"Sort of. It's quite interesting actually. We could really look into the logistics of this whole cloning thing if I'm going to be staying with you for an extended period of time… Nurf, are you even listening?"

"Does it look like I'm listening?" Nurf laid down on his temporary bed with his arms folded under his head and allowed himself a few seconds to relax before his clone started talking again.

"No, it doesn't. But I suppose at the first chance you get you're going to throw me into the lake like all those goldfish your mum bought you as a kid, anyway."

"Throw you in the lake?" Nurf shook his head. "I'm not a sociopath. And those fish could swim."

"The puppies couldn't. And they weren't even yours!"

"Shut up, buttwad!" Nurf glared at his clone. "I'm not that person anymore. I renounced bullying!"

"That was back when you had me and three. Who knows what you'll do now."

Nurf lay back down onto his back and stared at the celing. Nurf 2 was right. There was no telling what he would now that only 0.5 of his clones remained.

"And you did a really good job of telling us off earlier." Nurf 2 continued. "You can even bully yourself! That's talent."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah. It seems the one thing you're really good at is making other people feel small."

"Thanks buddy." Nurf said sarcastically. "Now I know I'm doomed prison for the rest of my life, just like mom."

"Hey, jail isn't so bad. Youth offenders was a pinch."

Nurf gave a small laugh. "Remember that one guy who was beating up all those little kids without taking their cash, so I beat him up and took all his credit to show him how it was done?"

"Yeah, and that warden who kept yelling at us all? We did that awesome psyc attack and made him cry?"

The pair laughed and Nurf 2 used his arms to hop towards Nurf.

"You know, you might be right. Bullying does always land us in tight spots with the law, and I don't think it's a viable paying career."

"But what else are we good for?" Nurf sat up and hoisted the clone onto the bed next to him. "I mean, dad won't like it that I'm bringing home a cripple from behavioural correction camp. And I don't think school has wheelchair access. Guess I might have to drown you in the lake after all." He laughed when he saw Nurf 2's face. "It was a joke."

"Good, because honestly, I do not want to end up in a black hole like all of my brothers."

"And I don't want to go to jail for manslaughter like all of my parents."

"Hey, they let dad out! Eventually."

"And he deserves to go back in." Nurf said with a slight growl. "We can look after the house without him. In fact," the teen paused for thought. "We might actually do a better job."

"What are you gonna do, kill your dad?"

Nurf clenched his fists. "I don't know, one of these days he might really piss me off the wrong way." He frowned. "Maybe that's why mom keeps sending me all those knives. Self defence."

"Maybe." Nurf 2 said. "But we've got a long time until summer ends. Plenty of time for self-reflection. And to build me a pair of prosthetic legs. I don't think either of us want you to carry me everywhere. That would be embarrassing."

"Everywhere?" Nurf flopped back onto the bed with a frown. "You mean you're staying? With me?"

"Why wouldn't I?" His clone answered. "Not like I have anywhere else to be. Maybe I could take a shirt vacation to terrorise the other campers, but mainly I'll have to stick with the people I know."

Nurf grinned before he could stop himself. He had thought his clone would turn against him again after the whole large hadron collider incident, and would have to be destroyed in the Sleepy Peak volcano or something. But no, the one friend he had had in years was actually offering to stick around, despite Nurf trying to destroy him in a black hole!

His clone peered down at him from his spot next to him on the bed.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

"Oh, nothing." Nurf blushed a little, sitting up again. "But if you're gonna be sticking with me, you need a name. I don't wanna be calling you Number 2 all the time." His clone frowned, and seemed to be pondering the question. "How about Gaylord? Then I can change my name legally!"

"Nurf, we've been trying to ditch that name since we learned what it meant. I'll need something a bit classier."

"Gaylord is classy! But yeah, I see your point. What we need is something entertaining, with a touch of superiority and a slight hint of being awesome."

"What about Tyler?" His clone offered.

"Cool, I've always liked that name!"

"I know." Tyler smiled. "Works out perfect, huh?"

"You know what Tyler? It does." Nurf smiled. He grabbed his new friend and tucked him neatly under his arm.

"Whoa, where are we going?" Tyler waved an arm slightly in protest.

"To visit that 3D printer, of course. You know how bad I am at art. How else am I gonna make you those legs?"

"In the middle of the night?"

"It's only, what eleven o'clock? Maybe we can stop by the pantry and pick up some snacks?"

"That sounds like fun!"

**If you enjoyed it, reviews are always appreciated :)**

**And if you follow my other Camp Camp stories, I will be adding new chapters soon, I know it's been a while.**


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